I received the following email today from my dear friend, Dawn McGuire, and wanted to share it. God is still using Jena's journey to remind me of His faithfulness and grow my character and I'm sure many others who walked with Dawn and Kevin through this time can say the same.***********************************
Dear Sisters in Christ,
Jena Grace would have turned 6 years old tomorrow. I never know how I'll feel as another anniversary approaches. But He's given me some time for reflection - you'll need a few minutes to get through this message...On Sunday, my heart ached with sadness. At church, we started a series on life after death and heaven…three of the worship songs were ones we sang at Jena’s celebration of life service (including “I Can Only Imagine”), we read Hebrews 11:1 which is one of the two scriptures Kevin read that day and images of cemeteries and tombstones were flashed on the screen throughout the service. Our pastor talked about how tombstones from Biblical times read “Gone to heavenly home” instead of the doom and gloom we sometimes read today. How grateful I was that Jena ’s “Alive in Heaven” gravestone echoes that eternal hope. It was a powerful morning - followed by an afternoon spent with my sweet Hope picking out her flower girl dress. Isn't God so so sweet and tender? I may never have shared with you that her birthday is much harder for me than her “graduation day”. In February, I reflect on saying goodbye but mostly on her complete healing, restored body and life with Jesus. I know that she wouldn’t come back if she could! I think of God’s promise to me as His follower that I will see her again – hold her again – live daily, forever with her. And there is great joy in my hope. Plus, we now celebrate Charlie and Hope's birthday on February 18th so the meaning of that day has changed. But on her birthday, I think about how old she would be - what she would be involved in – what she might look like. I reflect on lost dreams. And that can be a struggle. I don't stay in that place for long but it's hard to journey there. I know I'm supposed to go there - I want to be reminded of that missing piece of my heart...that one of my children is absent each year from our family photo...that Owen, Charlie and Hope will only know their sister through the pictures and stories...until heaven...which is when God pulls me once again from the deep, deep valley that I've revisited. Then I can refocus on the PROMISES He kept (Hebrews10:23), the PEACE that still is so incomprehensible (Philippians 4:7) , the JOY that He has restored and even increased (Isaiah 55:14) and the HOPE that I cling to(Hebrews 11:1). His Spirit touched me yesterday to remind me that God is the only thing that remains CONSTANT. Since Jena's graduation to heaven, we have moved, added more children to our family, Kevin has changed jobs twice, our bodies seem older and slower, we have lost close touch with some friends and been blessed with some new ones - life is constantly changing. But the God who will love me through tomorrow is the same God who was within breathing distance as I gave birth to Jena six years ago and we heard the news that devastated our lives...the same God who gave me new mercies each morning when I arose to visit her at the hospital or waited huddled in prayer in the surgery waiting room...the same God who loved Keegan and Jack and filled the 'mommy spot' in their heart while I was away from them for ten hours a day, the same God who assured me of His loving presence when Jena died in my arms...and who held me through Kevin's arms as we wept together. So many people were and still are His hands and feet - loving us in His sweet, CONSTANT way. By the grace of God, I'm still learning more about His all encompassing love. I am eternally grateful for those of you who loved me so well through Jena's life and death. I know without a doubt that we crossed paths so we could both expereince more of Him. And I jump for joy at those who I've met since her death, who have been so kind and compassionate in listening to how her story intertwines with His to make me who I am today. My heart wells with tears thinking of how you not only sweetly love me but you also love my little baby girl you never met.Wow - I didn't expect all that...but He did. God knew that was one more step in my healing. Thank you for being part of my continued journey. I feel He is going to keep on using Jena Grace's life to touch us all. We had a motto when Jena was sick - 'The longer the journey, the more glory for God.' I pray that this renewed love for hearing about His faithfulness and goodness in her life will just bring Him more GLORY! As we remember Jena, let's get close to Him - so close we can see the lines of His face!
To Him be the glory,
Dawn
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment